Your Beating Heart
by BlackSwanHeart62
Summary: A/U. Arizona and Callie are best friends in their last year of college ready to start medical school together. Arizona is in love with someone else and Callie is in love with Arizona.
1. The Beginning

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or the characters of Grey's Anatomy.**

**A/N: This chapter is kind of the background of the story and characters involved. **

**Chapter 1**

_Callie's POV_

_I was in my junior year of high school when I told Arizona I wasn't straight. She didn't freak, she supported me. I had known her my whole life and I knew I could tell her anything but I was just afraid if I told her sooner, she would push me away. My family didn't know because I knew they wouldn't approve it. My parents would disown me, my brother and sister…..well….I don't know what they would say. They probably would hate me too. But my family loves Arizona, maybe if they saw that I'm in love with Arizona they would support me._

_Arizona is not only my best friend but she's also the love of my life. She just doesn't know that part yet. I don't know when I'll have the guts to tell her. Then again she is straight so maybe I'll never tell her. We go to school together if we have the same classes, work together at the same place and the rest of our free time we're together. But this past week I haven't really seen her except at school or work. She claims to be tired and worn out and here I was at stuck at home with Arizona on my mind._

_I heard a car pull in, probably my brother or sister coming home late as usual. He was 26 years old and still lived with us. Not that I minded but he is seriously becoming more and more like my father. He won't let him move out until he's married and ready to take over my fathers business. My little sister on the other hand was a 17 year old party freak and daddy's little angel. She does everything the way he wants her to. When I told him I wanted to be a Orthopedic Surgeon, he freaked. He said that I could go into the business too and when I got married to a successful man, I would stay home and take care of the kids. Of course I didn't agree and went to college to pursue my dreams but I am also stuck in a huge debt because my father refused to pay for school. But I'm a rebel and badass so I can get through any obstacle…I think._

_I looked out the window and saw that it was my brother getting out of someone's car and waving as they pulled out. Grey Toyota Corolla…..that looks just like Arizona's car. No it can't be her. I saw my brother run to our front door, maybe I should ask him who he was with._

_When I got downstairs, he was already inside sitting down and watching TV in our empty living room. _

"Hey Chris, where have you been?"

"Well I worked and then went out to dinner with a friend."

"Cool, do I know them?'

"Umm…no you don't actually. She's a new friend of mine." he looked up at me and smiled.

_He had guilt in his eyes for some odd reason. What the hell was going on with everyone?_

**A/N: Sorry it was really short, but more to come soon. Let me know if you guys like this. Please review!**


	2. I'll Be There

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or the characters of Grey's Anatomy.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Based on the song "I'll Be There" by The Parlotones.**

**Chapter 2**

"_**Even if your strong, even if your not, every breathe you breathe, I'll be there for you."**_

_**

* * *

**_

_Callie's POV_

_I felt like my brother was hiding something big from me. I mean he doesn't have to tell me who he is with all the time but I just had bad feeling this time. My phone buzzed, it was Arizona texting me._

_**Hey Cal, what are you up to? : )**_

_Nothing much, just laying down in bed. What about you?_

_**Same, I've been soo tired lately. But I miss you 3**_

_I miss you too. When we going to hang out?_

_**Soon, I promise. Anyways I'm going to pass out. See you at work tomorrow. Have a good night 3**_

_Thanks, you too Ari 3_

_

* * *

_

_I got up early the next morning so I could get ready for work. When I got there, Arizona was already at her desk preoccupied with her cell phone at the moment. I quickly went to my desk which was behind hers and put my stuff down. _

"Morning to you too Ari." I said as I went to stand next to her at her desk.

"Calliope, hey sorry I didn't see you." she looked up at my with a sad smile on her face.

_She got up and wrapped her arms around my neck to hug me. She always loved hugging me. I put my arms around her waist and inhaled her strawberry scent. I loved it when she called me Calliope, she was the only one who could._

"What wrong? Why the smug face?" I asked as she pulled away.

"Nothing…..I just…forget about it, I'm just really tired."

"Arizona, we haven't hung out for like a week because you were going home early to sleep. And you're still not getting enough sleep?"

"Callie I haven't been going home to sleep. I've actually been seeing someone. I know I lied to you but I never meant to. I just didn't want to tell you anything until I knew it was something for real. But I'm a idiot. You're not mad, are you?" she rambled.

"You could have just told me. I don't know why you would keep something like that from me, you never have."

_I was pissed, but can you blame me? She lied to me this whole week. But the worst part of all of this is that she's seeing someone. How could I hold myself back from beating the crap out of the guy who would break her heart? I went to go back to my desk, but she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her into a hug._

"I'm so sorry Calliope. I hated lying to you, I never have but I need you. Please just…..be my wonderful and supportive best friend that I know you are."

_I hated being mad at her, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I pulled away from our embrace slightly. I gave her a small smile letting her know that I was ready to listen._

"Tell me what he did that you're already sad."

"I think he's afraid of commitment. I mean he doesn't want anyone to know about us."

"Why? What is his problem? Do I know this guy?"

"Well, Callie promise me you won't freak when I tell you who he is? Because I don't want to keep anything from you anymore."

"Why would I freak Arizona? Don't tell me it's Mark Sloan! You know he sleeps around, Arizona. Come on are you…"

"No it's not Sloan! Never!" she said cutting me off.

"Then who is it?"

"Chris" she whispered.

"Chris…you mean….oh my god! My brother!" I looked at her shocked.

"Yes but Callie listen. Just let me explain…"

"Girls, please keep your voices down and get back to work." she was interrupted.

_It was our boss Jo, she was cool but when it was time to work she wanted us to be focused. I was definitely not focused now. My brother! Come on, how could they do this to me? I went back to my desk._

"Calliope wait! You're not going to talk to me?"

_She got up for her cubicle to face my cubicle._

"No not today."

_I looked up at her and saw her eyes get watery. _

"Just give me some time. And don't worry I won't tell my brother anything."

"Ok, but please don't be mad at me for too long."

* * *

_I hadn't talk to Arizona for the rest of the day. I just came straight home. Maybe if I wasn't in love with her than I wouldn't be this pissed. I would probably be happy for them. But I wasn't happy for them and I would never be happy for them. But if he makes her happy than I should let her be happy, right? I don't how much more I can take. My thoughts were interrupted by my mom._

" Mija, are you coming down for dinner?"

"No Mama, I'm not hungry."

"You have to come down. We have a guest."

"Who?"

"Your brothers new girlfriend." she smiled.

_Oh my god, Arizona. I thought they were keeping it a secret. But my mom didn't say anything, she would've mentioned it was Arizona._

"Ok I'll be down in a minute."

* * *

_I went into the dining area and saw my brother, father, mother and a girl with blonde hair. But it wasn't Arizona, it was someone else._

"Hey sis, I want you to meet someone." my brother looked up at me.

_My brother and his new girlfriend apparently got up from the table and I slowly walked towards them trying to get rid of my shocked expression._

"This is Irene, the girl I've been seeing."

"Hi Calliope, it's so nice to meet you. Your family has told me a lot about you." she held out her hand.

"It's Callie. Nice to meet you too" I said as I took her hand to shake.

_I sat down on the table next to my mother. _

"Mija, isn't she wonderful. She works at our company. I introduced her to your brother and I guess they it off" my dad said looking at me with a huge smile.

"Yeah, it's good to hear" I gave her a small smile.

_What the hell is going on? Why was my brother with someone else? I need to talk to her._

"Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom."

_I quickly ran up stairs to my room. I grabbed my cell phone and saw there was a text from her._

_**Callie, I need you. Please talk to me : (**_

_I had to call her, she picked up. _

"Callie, I'm so glad you called."

_It sounded like she was crying._

"Arizona, are you crying?"

"I need you to be honest with me. Is there something wrong with me? What is it that makes guys want to hurt me so much?"

"Ari, there is nothing wrong with you. You're perfect, they're the idiots."

"I'm sure you know by now that your brother is with some other chick. I'm such an idiot."

"No you're not, he's the idiot. And I'm about to go downstairs and humiliate him in front of his stupid new girlfriend!"

"No you can't! Just calm down. She's there right now?"

"Yeah she's here. I just met her. As soon as I saw that it wasn't you. I knew I had to call you."

"Is she pretty?"

"She's not as pretty as you Arizona."

"You're saying that because you're my friend."

_Friend! I'm saying that because I love you!_

"I mean it Arizona you are. Anyways I don't hang out with ugly girls, you know that."

_I was trying to lighten the mood. She started to laugh._

"What can I do for you Ari?"

"I need you, stay over tonight?"

"I'll be right over."

* * *

_Arizona lived with her Aunt since her father was in the military they moved around a lot. So when they moved to Miami when she was twelve we met and instantly became friends. When they had to leave again, she didn't want to go so her aunt who lives in Miami told her dad she could live with her, she was happy. And of course I was happy to. I don't know what I would have doe without Arizona in my life. We decided we would go to the same college and medical school and get a place together when we start medical school. I knocked on the door and her Aunt opened it._

"Callie, hey honey how you been?" she said as she hugged me.

"I'm good thanks. Arizona's in her room right?"

"Yeah" she smiled knowingly.

_I went straight to her room. She was lying down facing the wall with her back towards me. I slowly walked over to her bed and took off my shoes. I went right behind her and spooned her. She slowly shook and turned around with my arms still around her waist._

"Hey." she whispered.

"How you feeling?" her eyes were blood shot.

"Heartbroken."

"It's going to be ok Ari."

"Promise me you'll always be there no matter how stupid I act. Just promise me."

"I promise you Ari, I'll be there no matter what."

_I put my forehead against hers and she smiled. She's my everything._

**A/N: The Arizona and Chris drama isn't over, it's just the beginning. More to come soon. Please review!**


	3. Love Hurts

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or the characters of Grey's Anatomy.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Based on the song "Ring the Bells" by Satellite. Callie's POV and Arizona's POV throughout this chapter.**

**Chapter 3**

"_**Cause the only truth I've ever known is that nothing ever hurts us more than love."**_

_A week had passed since the Chris & Arizona drama. Callie was happy it was behind them. But little did she know, it wasn't over yet._

"Hey Ari, lets go out for drinks tonight. Mark and Christina invited us and I told them I'd ask you."

"Actually I can't tonight. I have to study for an exam. You go though, have fun" she smiled.

* * *

_Mark, Callie, and Christina were hanging out at the local bar near the college they attend. Christina was drunk and passed out on their table._

"So how are things with Blondie going?"

"Same as always, complicated" she said taking a sip of her beer.

"Women are always complicated. That's why I'd rather sleep around and not have worry about any feelings."

"Sloan you're going to get bored soon. If I were you, I'd start finding someone who's right for you. You don't want to be alone, trust me."

"Hey want to take a walk around the campus. I'm getting claustrophobic."

"Sure but what about Christina?" she said looking had her passed out friend.

"We'll come back and get her don't worry. Let's go" he said grabbing her arm to lead her outside.

_Mark and Callie walked for awhile talking about Callie's hidden feelings for Arizona. She was glad she was starting to get close to Mark, he was actually a good listener. As they were approaching the garden, it was dark and secluded except for a couple sitting on a bench making out. _

"Check it out Torres, looks like they're about to do it on the bench" he whispered.

_Callie laughed and they both went to hide behind the bush. Callie saw that the girl had blonde hair. She looked just like Arizona from behind._

"No, it can't be…." she whispered to herself.

_Callie saw the bracelet, it was Arizona's. She gave it to her on her 20__th__ Birthday. She looked at the guy she was kissing, trying to see if she could recognize him. And then she saw it, his watch. Her dad had given it to Chris when he started working at the company._

"Come on Mark, lets go" she grabbed his arm and pulled him away.

* * *

_Callie's POV_

_I couldn't believe what I had seen. What the hell was she thinking? After being their for Arizona, I was shocked to see them together again. I had to talk to her. We went outside for our fifteen minute break, this would be the perfect time._

"I have to tell you something" she said.

"I have to ask you something first. And I need you to be honest with me."

"Ok, ask me."

"Were you with Chris last night?"

"How did you…..umm…yes I was."

_It hurt more to hear it from her because now it felt more real._

"Ok, am I missing something? He is with someone else right?"

"Yeah he is but he told me he's going to leave her. He said she was just some girl your dad set him up with. He's only with her to make your parents happy. But he promised me that he would leave her. And you know what I don't want to commit to anyone right now anyways."

"Are you kidding me Arizona? You really think he'll leave her? How could you kiss someone who's kissing someone else. And please don't tell me your sleeping with him too? He's playing with you Arizona! I thought you were smarter" I walked away from her.

"No I'm not sleeping with him. I don't care anymore Callie. I just want to have fun and do whatever. I'm sick of thinking and over-analyzing people. I don't care if he's with her. I just like being around him and talking to him" she said as she came after me.

"I don't get you Arizona. I just…..I don't."

"I just want somebody to want me and he does" she whispered and crossed her arms over her chest looking away.

"Ari this isn't right. I don't think he wants you for the right reasons. He…."

"Why are you so angry about this?" she cut me off.

"I'm angry because I care about you. I don't want you to get hurt. I know you, you're going to get attached and then he's going to hurt you and you'll be devastated. I don't want you to be the other women in his life. You shouldn't be the one to help him cheat on someone else. That's not you….."

_Why was Arizona acting like this all of a sudden? She's changing._

"I know its not me. I don't know what to do anymore. But you promised me you would always be there no matter what so you better not break your promise."

"I won't but, I don't know how much more I could take of this. Him with his arms around you and kissing you. And then when you guys….."

_She grabbed my shoulders to stop my ranting._

"Calliope, you sound like a jealous ex right now. Why are you acting like this?"

_It's now or never…..I cupped her face and brought her closer._

"Because I…"

_Come on ,just say it! Say it!_

"Because what?" she whispered.

"Because I love you."

"You love me….."

"Of course I love you. You're my best friend Ari and I'm just looking out for you."

_I pulled my hands away from her face and stepped back. It's never….._

_

* * *

_

_Arizona's POV_

_She grabbed my face and brought us closer that our noses were almost touching._

"Because I…"

_Is she going to tell me what I think she's telling me?_

"Because what…"

_Just say it Calliope….._

"Because I love you."

_Oh my god, is this for real?_

"You love me…."

_I needed to be sure she was saying what I think she was saying._

"Of course I love you. You're my best friend Ari and I'm just looking out for you."

_I felt her warmth disappear as her hands pulled away from my face._

"Yeah of course" I answered.

_I'm such an idiot…_

_**Later that night…**_

_I was at home again waiting for a text from either Callie or Chris. But I got nothing. I think Callie is still pissed at me and Chris well…he's probably with her as usual._

_I don't know why I was so drawn to him. I don't know why I let him mess with my feelings. And today was a day I would never forget….._

_I think I've had feelings for her for over a year now. I was just afraid to admit that I had feelings for another girl after being boy crazy my whole life. Callie was different for me. She opened up feelings inside of me that I never felt for anyone. She's brave, honest, beautiful and my protector. She's everything I can't find in a man. But she didn't feel anything for me except for friendship and I didn't want to risk telling her. And even if she did have feelings for me too, I'm afraid I'll be to scared to be with her. I don't want to lose our friendship because I still have this stupid fear inside of me._

_Maybe I was going along with Chris because he was Callie's brother. But he does have a charm that pulls me to him too. I'm not going to lie, I've started to develop feelings for him too. _

_My phone buzzed….it was Chris._

_**Hey beautiful, what's up?**_

_Hey Chris, nothing just laying down in bed thinking._

_**Oh yeah, you're thinking about me?**_

_Maybe, lol. You're not always on my mind._

_**I should be. I miss you. **_

_Miss you too. Are you home?_

_**Yeah just got home.**_

_Oh, working late?_

_**No actually I was with Irene. Hanging out at her place.**_

_Oh, hope you had fun._

_**Are you mad?**_

_No, why would I be?_

_**Just forget it. It's not too late, lets hang out. I'll pick you up.**_

_Why you got bored kissing her and now you want to kiss me?_

_**Yeah I want to kiss you and do other things with you.**_

_Chris, just stop. I have to go. Goodnight._

_Why am I torturing myself this much? I'm an idiot. He's using me and I'm letting him. Maybe love doesn't exist in this world….well in my world. I don't want to be alone and for now he's my only choice._

_

* * *

_

_Callie's POV_

_I hated being this depressed. Why did my brother have to go and ruin things? I just wish I could confront him. He has no right playing with her. But I promised Arizona I wouldn't say anything. _

_Who the hell is knocking on my door now?_

"Yeah who is it?"

"It's me sis, can I come in?"

_Oh great, I really don't want to see you right now Chris._

"Yeah sure."

_He came in and laid down next to me in my bed and put his head against the dashboard._

"So how are things going?" he asked.

"Fine I guess."

"Why have you been pissed lately? You and Arizona fighting?"

"No we're not."

"You guys usually hang out every night. But your always home."

_Serisously? Stop acting dumb!_

"Yeah, she's busy with school and tired so…."

"You're a good friend, giving her some space to rest and stuff."

_And stuff…._

"Yeah. How are things with your new girlfriend?" I had to ask.

"Great actually. She's cool, I really like her. I think she's perfect for me and dad & mom love her. I'm getting older and I need to start thinking about settling down and getting the hell out of here."

"Good, I'm happy for you" I lied.

_Yeah right…jackass._

_

* * *

_

_**Next day at work…..**_

_Arizona's POV_

_Here we were at work again but Callie was being cold and only talking to me if it involved work. When it was break time, I cornered her._

"Cal, are you going to talk to me?" I asked.

"I am talking to you. Why wouldn't I be?'

"I don't know. You're acting different. Please just talk to me" I pleaded.

"Nothings different Arizona. I'm talking to you. I'm just tired that's all."

"Ok then, lets hang out tonight?"

"I can't tonight, rain check?"

"Callie, come on. We need to hang out tonight and talk. I miss talking to you already. Why can't you come out tonight?"

"I have a date."

_I felt like someone poured a big bucket of cold water over my head._

"Oh….umm…that's good. With who? Do I know her?"

"Yeah actually, its Jessica."

"From here? Work?" I was shocked.

"Yeah, she had told me she liked me a little while back but I ignored it. But you know what, I'm done waiting. So what the hell, let me have some fun. Right?"

'_Let me have some fun' Don't use my words Calliope. Jessica is a slut and everyone knows it! Why did I still have the hope that she had feelings for me? But she's my best friend and I don't want that to change, ever._

"Yeah, as long as your happy then go for it."

"Come on, fifteen minutes are up" she started to walk back.

_Just then I got a text from Chris._

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute."

_**Hey, lets hang out tonight after work. I got the keys to the house by the beach. **_

_I don't know Chris, maybe we could go somewhere else…._

_**Come on, we'll sit and talk and maybe do more if you're ready. I really miss you.**_

_Ok, meet you there._

_**Can't wait.**_

_If she's going to be with other people then why am I hold myself back. Love hurts but pleasure doesn't. _

**A/N: This chapter was longer. Hope you like it! More drama and romance to come soon. Please review, I would greatly appreciate it : )**


	4. Lifeline

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or the characters of Grey's Anatomy.**

**A/N: Wow thanks for the reviews! I loved reading them. Based on the song "Lifeline" by Mat Kearney. **

**Chapter 4**

"_**There's nothing I would change, I'd give it all away for you again and again and over again. Everything I own is in your control. I'm looking for a lifeline."**_

_**

* * *

**_

_Callie's POV_

_Why did I have to care about her so much? I ruined a great night because I felt guilty…_

_**Flashback (No POV)**_

_After going to dinner, Callie took Jessica to the place where her and Arizona always went when they wanted to relax. It was a deserted place and had a beautiful view._

"Wow Callie this place is amazing. How did you find it?" she asked as she sat down on a small beat down bench.

"Actually, Arizona and I found it a few years ago" she sat down next to her.

"Arizona huh? You guys were never together right?"

"No, just best friends" she said sounding disappointed.

"Doesn't sound like you want to be? You have feelings for her?" she looked hurt.

"I'm here with you right?"

_Callie got closer to Jessica. Noses touching…._

"Yeah…." she whispered.

_Jessica closed her eyes and as Callie did the same images of Chris and Arizona kissing flashed before her. Callie leaned in and kissed her with some sort of hunger. Her hands went to Jessica's waist and pulled her body towards hers. Jessica grabbed her shoulders and pushed back breaking the kiss._

"Callie wait. Just wait for a minute."

"What is it?" she panted.

"I know you've heard that I sleep around and I don't take my relationships seriously. But I'm down with that. I'm ready to give myself to one person. And I really like you, so please don't hurt me so I don't go back to my old ways. I need to know that you genuinely feel the same way about me" she was playing with the collar of Callie's jacket.

_Callie sighed. She didn't think it would be this hard._

"Jessica I…..I don't know what to say" she pulled away from her and looked away.

"Callie please don't tell me that you thought that you could just sleep with me and leave me like nothing happened?" she had tears in her eyes.

"No, I wasn't trying to sleep with you Jessica. It's just I don't think I'm ready to be in a commited relationship right now. I thought….." she was cut off.

"What Callie? You thought what? That you could just use me whenever you felt like it. That's not me anymore. I'm done with that. I've been hurt too much to be used like that. I thought you were different!"

"I'm sorry. Please let me…."

"I don't want to hear it. Just take me home." she started walking back towards the car.

_**End of Flashback**_

_**

* * *

**_

_Arizona's POV_

_Here I was on the couch making out with my best friends brother and all I could think about was her. But she was probably with Jessica right now doing the same thing I was about to do. I don't think I'm ready to go that far with Chris. I don't want to but he keeps pushing it. _

_Oh no, he's putting his hands up my shirt and his other hand is traveling up to my thigh. Why did I wear a short skirt? I'm such an idiot. _

"Come on, lets go to the room" he said kissing up my neck.

"Chris wait. I don't think I'm ready for this."

"Arizona come on. Stop playing hard to get….."

"I'm not! Just stop ok!" I yelled pushing him away.

"Come on Ari. I know you want…."

"Don't call me that!"

"Ok sorry. We should go" he said getting up.

_I didn't want anyone calling me Ari except Calliope. Chris starting grabbing his stuff, he looked very angry._

"Are you mad because I didn't want to sleep with you?"

"No I'm not, just forget it."

"Yeah I will, go get some from your girlfriend." now I was pissed.

"Well atleast she's not as difficult as you are."

_I couldn't believe he just said that. He really was using me._

"Screw you Chris!"

_I walked to my car and got in. As I was driving away, I couldn't stop sobbing. Why was this happening to me?_

_

* * *

_

_Arizona's POV_

_I was working at my desk and saw Callie walk in. She looked tired._

"Hey Cal, you okay?" I said walking over to her.

"Yeah I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" she walked to her desk and put her things on her desk.

"I don't know. You just seem weird. Anyways how was your date?" I tried to sound enthusiastic about it.

"It was good." she said smiling slightly.

_I tried to smile back. For some reason, I wanted her to say it was awful. _

"What did you do last night?" she asked.

_I didn't know if I should tell her that I was with Chris but I didn't want to lie to her. _

"I was with Chris at the beach house."

_She sat down on her chair and it seemed like she was avoiding me._

"That's great. Hope you guys had fun" she said with obvious sarcasm.

"Could that have been anymore sarcastic? Why are you acting like this?"

"I'm not acting any different Arizona. Just let it go, I'm really not in the mood for this."

"No I'm not going to let it go. You've been acting cold with me ever since you found out that I was still seeing your brother. I don't want things to change between us Calliope. You mean more to me than anyone. So please just tell me what will make things better" I pleaded.

_I missed her and I hated that things were starting to get worse._

"Nothing will make it better Arizona! Nothing! Is that what you want to hear? My brother is not the right person for you okay, he's going to hurt you. I don't want to have to hate my brother for hurting the one I lo…for hurting my best friend."

_What the hell was going on with her? I don't get her anymore._

"This is my decision Callie. I'm choosing to go with him, he's not forcing me. Sure I may cry and be hurt but it'll go away because I know what I'm getting myself into. I just need to know you'll be there for me."

"I don't know if I can anymore Arizona. I just…dammit! Why did it have to be my brother huh?" she slammed her fist against her desk and stormed out of the office.

_I had to go after her. Why does it matter that it's Chris?_

"Calliope, wait!" I caught up to her.

"What do you want?" she turned towards me and her eyes were dark.

"Please just tell me why your so angry at me. I don't get it."

"Arizona, I love you and I need you to know that…."

"I love you too, Calliope. You know that" I said cutting her off.

"You don't get it. I'm in love with you, I have been for years and I didn't know how to tell you or how you would react. So I hid it from you and put up with hearing about the new guys in your life. But now, Chris? Do you know how much that hurt me? But I'm stupid, it's not like it matters, your straight and I'm your best friend. You'll never have feelings for me" she had tears in her eyes and looked down at her feet.

_Should I comfort her? I've been wanting to hear her say that for awhile now. _

"Why didn't you tell me about your feelings before?"

"Would it have mattered?" she looked at me with her bloodshot eyes.

_I don't know if it would have mattered. She said it herself, I'm straight. I mean sure, I did feel something towards her but I didn't if I could handle it. It would be new for me, different. I like it simple and easy not hard and difficult. _

"Callie, I don't know what to say. I….." she stopped me.

"Don't worry about it. Just forget I ever said anything. Besides, I don't have feelings for you I'm in relationship now. I'll forget about those feelings in no time. No worries."

_She started to walk back inside. _

"Jessica?"

"Yeah, she's great. She knows what she wants and I need someone like that in my life."

"That's good. Are we going to be okay?"

"Yeah don't worry. Lets get back to work, before they catch us out here" she said smiling at me.

_I knew the smile wasn't genuine._

"But before we go inside. I want to ask you something." she stopped me.

"What is it?"

"Did you sleep with him?"

"Well…..Callie I…"

_I didn't know what to say._

"I got the picture, you don't have to say it. It's my brother so you don't feel comfortable talking about that with me. Actually it's better that we don't talk about it at all." she stormed back inside.

_She got it all wrong. But I couldn't open my mouth._

_As we walked back inside I saw Jessica working at her desk. She looked up at us and had a angry look on her face. Callie looked at her and walked up to her desk. She grabbed her hands and pulled her up from her seat and kissed her on the lips. At first, it seemed like Jessica was pushing her away but then I saw her hands wrap around Callie's neck. _

_She told me she loved me and I turned her down because I was scared. And now watching her and Jessica kiss was breaking my heart. _

_

* * *

_

_Callie's POV_

_I was driving home and I was heartbroken. I can't believe I told her I loved her! I'm such a big mouth. I should have just kept it to myself. Of course she doesn't feel that way about me. And now that I know she slept with my brother maybe I'll start to get over my feelings for her. I could never be with her now even if she somehow realizes she loves me too. My phone was buzzing, it was her…_

"**Hey Calliope, are you home yet?"**

"Hey Jess, no not yet. And please don't call me Calliope. I prefer Callie, you know that."

_Only Arizona can use Calliope._

"**Ok, sorry. It's just I've heard Arizona call you that so I thought maybe you liked it."**

"No I don't. I'm driving let me call you back when I get home."

"**Ok I'll be waiting."**

_As I pulled up to the driveway of my house. I saw my brother leaning against Irene's car and making out with her. I parked my car and got out so that I could get to my room as fast as I could. I guess they saw me and stopped kissing. She got into her car and was pulling out of the driveway. My brother was running after me as I was racing to the door._

"Hey sis, wait up!" he grabbed my arm.

_I turned around and pulled my arm away. I looked at him and felt angry and jealousy._

"What's up with you? You and Arizona fight again or something?"

_Why did he always have to bring Arizona in the conversation? I pushed him away with force._

"Nothing happened. Just stay the hell out of my way!"

_I ran inside and up to my room. Everytime I looked at my brother, all I could feel was anger. I was angry at him and angry at myself. Angry for feeling like this._

_I laid in my bed and cried myself to sleep._

_

* * *

_

_Arizona's POV_

_I was in bed replaying my conversation with Callie form earlier today. My phone buzzed, it was a text from Chris._

_**Hey. What's up with your friend? She just attacked me. You need to talk to her.**_

_I don't know maybe she had a bad day. Just let her be and I'll talk to her tomorrow._

_**Ok. So lets hang out again tomorrow night.**_

_I don't know if that's a good idea._

_**Why not?**_

_Because I don't know what we are._

_**We're friends with some benefits, lol.**_

_Not funny. You're hurting me Chris. Why can't you just leave her? _

_**I can't right now, we'll see what happens. Lets just live in the moment.**_

_I feel like you're just using me….._

_**I'm not, I promise. So we hanging out tomorrow night or what?**_

_Yeah I guess._

_**Good, I'll text you tomorrow. Sweet dreams.**_

_And the torture begins again. Why did I keep giving into his games? There's something about him that attracts me to him and I don't know what it is. _

_I knew now that I had ruined everything with Callie. She wouldn't want to be with me now that she thinks I slept with him. _

_Why couldn't I have been more stronger? Why couldn't I give her and I a try? Why was I pushing her away?_

_

* * *

_

"_**The world is too big to never ask why. The answers don't fall straight out of the sky. I'm fighting to live and feel alive. But I can't feel a thing without you by my side. Send me out a lifeline."**_

**A/N: Hope you like this chapter. Lots of angst! Please review. Update coming soon.**


	5. White Blank Page

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or the characters of Grey's Anatomy.**

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update! Thanks for the reviews and messages! Based on the song "White Blank Page" by Mumford & Sons.**

**Chapter 5**

"_Can you lie next to her and give her your heart, your heart. And can you lie next to her and confess your love, your love."_

_

* * *

_

_Callie's POV_

_Weeks had passed and Arizona and I were spending no time together at all. She was doing her own thing and I was with Jessica or Mark. We never had this problem before, I mean she used to have a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend but we were still the best of friends. I hated lies and secrets but I felt like that's what my life consisted of now. Arizona had called me and asked if she wanted to go to the bar we always hung out at and I agreed, we needed this. But what I didn't know was that tonight would be the night that would change everything…_

_

* * *

_

_No POV_

_Callie, Arizona, Mark and Christina were laughing and having drinks. Callie and Arizona were talking but it deifinetly was not like before. It was as if they had just met. Arizona was depressed about it and so was Callie. They were so drunk that they didn't know what they were doing. Somehow they ended up getting so drunk that Mark had to drop them off at Callie's house. Callie's parents were away and Chris was spending the nights at Irene's house._

"Lets go to my room, I think I'm going to passsssss out" she laughed.

_As they got to Callie's room, they both flopped on her bed in a giggling fit._

"I've missed this Calliope" she sighed as the giggling died down.

"Me too. Words can't describe how much I've missed you."

_When Callie was drunk, she would say exactly what she was thinking without holding back…_

"You're so sweet to me. I just….I…."

_She cupped Callie's cheek with her right hand and interwined their left hands together._

"Arizona….." she whispered.

_Arizona leaned in and kissed her. At first Callie hesitated but then she gave in. _

_

* * *

_

_Arizona's POV_

_I don't know what came over me. I had the urge to kiss her, feel her. After you find out your best friend was in love with you and you may possibly be in love with her too, wouldn't you do the same thing? Ok now I'm rambling to myself. _

_She grabbed my hand that rested on her cheek and put it around her neck as she got on top of me and put her hand on my hip. Ok sure I was drunk but I knew what I was doing. Kissing her was addicting and electrifying. I'd never felt this way. Just as I was getting more into the kiss, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. We both groaned and pulled away from the kiss. She immediately got off of me and layed on her back. Who the hell was texting me at this time of the night?_

_**Hey you. Had a great time last night. Lets hang out tomorrow night if you're free?**_

_Oh my god it was Chris. I've never felt this guilty….ever._

"Ari, what wrong? You're as white as a ghost?" she asked.

"Nothing." I tried to close the text.

_She reached over and grabbed my phone from my hand and her eyes went wide._

"Of course. I should have known. Chris…."

_She looked really pissed._

"Why would you grab my phone like that? I don't read your texts, do I?"

"I'm sorry if I was concerned. I can't believe this!" she got up from her bed and started pacing.

"Would you stop pacing, my head is spinning. And what are you talking about? You can't believe what?"

"You and Chris? Still? I thought it was a fling that would last for a little while. He's with Irene still and you're still agreeing to his shit. I thought you were smarter than that!"

"I'm an adult Callie, I can make my own decisions. I'm just having a little fun."

"What about that kiss? You just kissed me? What was that? A little fun?"

"I….I…we're drunk. I'm drunk. It was mistake."

_I shut my eyes, I couldn't look at her. I hated lying to her._

"I can't believe this."

_I opened my eyes and looked at her. Her eyes were red and she looked defeated._

"I can't believe this. After everything I told. After I confessed my feelings to you. Was all of that a joke to you?" she was fuming.

"No it wasn't. I'm sorry Calliope."

"No! Don't you dare Calliope me. I can't believe this! I'm an idiot."

_She put her hands on her hips and looked down at her feet. I hated hurting her._

"You're with Jessica anyways and I'm…It doesn't matter anyways. I'm sorry if I led you on but…" she cut me off.

"Don't give me that crap. I'm done…..I'm sick of these games. I need to get out of here, I can't breath."

_She grabbed her jacket and car keys. _

"Where are you going? This is your house. And you're drunk remember?"

"You don't have your car to leave. I just can't be around you right now. I need to go."

_She ran out of the room. And the tears started to run down my cheeks. _

_

* * *

_

_Callie's POV_

"How could I have been so stupid?"

_It was dark outside and there wasn't a lot of cars. Of course there wasn't, it was past midnight. Tears were blocking my vision. I stopped at the red light and put my head against the wheel._

"Why do I have to feel this way? She….she. Ugh I'm going crazy!"

_I lifted my head from the steering wheel and saw that the light was green. As I got to the middle of the intersection, I heard the sound of screeching brakes. I looked to my right and saw car running straight into me and I froze as I saw the beaming headlights._

"Arizona…."

* * *

_No POV_

_Arizona was wide awake in Callie's bed waiting for her to show up._

"Come on Callie, where are you? It's three in the morning! Ugh I.."

_She was interrupted by the phone ringing, she jumped up._

"Oh shit! Who the hell is calling at this time? It's probably her parents, time difference…."

_She stumbled out of the bed and picked up the ringing phone._

"_**Hello….."**_

"_**Hi, I'm looking for the parents of Calliope Torres?"**_

"_**They're not in town, may I ask who's calling?"**_

"_**This is Officer Payne, Calliope Torres has been involved in a motor vehicle accident. She was just transported to Miami Presbyterian. I'm very sorry….."**_

_She dropped the phone from her hand._

"Oh god….."

* * *

"_But tell me now, where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart…."_

**A/N: Short chapter! Update coming soon….**


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